In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand. The witness was a grand motherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?” She responded, “Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve know you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.”

The Lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, “Mrs. Jones. Do you know the defense attorney?” She again replied, “Why yes, I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He’s lazy, bigoted and he has a drinking problem. He can’t build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women, one of them was your wife.Yes, I know him.” The defense attorney almost died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very quiet voice, said, “If either of you morons ask her if she knows me, I’ll throw you in jail for contempt.”

Suddenly, the Mullah said, “Good gracious Mister, Don’t write so fast. I can’t keep up with you!“

Version 1:
The boss said <pause> his employee was furious

Version 2:
The boss <pause> said his employee <pause> was furious

Note: Bold and Italicized words are the ones that are stressed.

What you said: I didn’t say you stole my red hat.
What is implied: But someone else might have said it.

What was said: I didn’t say you stole my red hat.
What was implied: I deny that I said it.

What was said: I didn’t say you stole my red hat.
What was implied:I may have thought or implied it.

What was said: I didn’t say you stole my red hat.
What was implied: I said someone else stole it.

What was said: I didn’t say you stole my red hat.
What was implied: I said you did something else with it.

What was said: I didn’t say you stole my red hat.
What was implied: I said you stole someone else’s red hat.

What was said: I didn’t say you stole my red hat.
What was implied: I said you stole my green hat.

What was said: I didn’t say you stole my red hat.
What was implied: I said you stole my red scarf.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone’s amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up. As the farmer’s neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

OK, it’s not over yet…

The donkey later came back, and bit the farmer who had tried to bury him. The gash from the bite got infected and the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.

MORAL FROM TODAY’S LESSON:

When you do something wrong, and try to cover your base, it always comes back to bite you. So, when you cover your base, just ensure you do a good job of it!

2. We want more experience so that we don’t lose on the opportunities.
     In that quest, we run so fast and get “over qualified” and blame the system.

3. We want more innovation – leading to more disruption.
     However, we don’t like disruption and uncertainty.

4. We complain about too many choices (choice overload)
    We complain about no choices (victimization)
    We complain about too few choices (variety)
    We complain.
    You got it.

5. We don’t have the time to even read “how to save time so that we have some time to read”

6. We want others to follow the rules that we ourselves are guilty of breaking.

7. We think everybody is like us but we want everyone to think that we are unique.

8. We follow what everyone else is doing but HOPE that ONLY we will reach a special place.

9. We want our people to think.
    When they are “thinking” we complain that they are not “doing” anything

10. We want our partner to be flexible (not change)
      But we want our partner to accept us as we are.

11. When we fail in something we say we were unlucky.
      When we get something because of luck, we take the credit.
      When someone gets something because of his or her work, we attribute their achievement to luck.

13. We can’t be alone – meaning we can’t enjoy our own company
       Of course, we think others enjoy our company.