10 reasons why you may not ask for help

By Rajesh Setty on Tue 21 Aug 2007, 6:40 PM - 9 Comments

Disclaimer: I am sure there are more than 10. You are welcome to add to the list.

1. You feel small asking for help.

2. You think you can do it better than anyone else.

3. You don’t know who to ask for help.

4. You don’t know how to ask for help.

5. You don’t know how to use the help that someone offers.

6. Your ego comes in the middle.

(almost same as #1. In this case, the problem is chronic)

7. You think help is expensive

8. You are almost there. You think you just have to try harder and you will get there all by yourself

9. You don’t want to ask for because you don’t want to have to reciprocate later.

10. You may not know that you need help

Whatever be your case, if your dream is BIG enough, you need help. Don’t worry. Others are no different. Life is about giving and getting good help!

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Guy on August 21st, 2007

… You don’t want to bother anyone.

Ram on August 21st, 2007

I think it is also similar to why people hesitate to say “no” or “don’t know” – as in #1 above, asking help might mean he might be considered an incompetent.

other reason i have come across – “feeling shy asking for help”

Also with respect to #9 – “not knowing how to reciprocate without being asked later on” –> this is my weakness too, hehe

shlok on August 22nd, 2007

i would think that the at the top of the list would be, “you don’t want to seem stupid.”

Peggy Collins on August 23rd, 2007

Great list! And I have even more that I did as a result of a survey for my book Help Is Not a Four-Letter Word: Why Doing It All Is Doing You In published by McGraw Hill. I’m revealing a never before talked about near epidemic I call The Self-Sufficiency Syndrome where people can’t ask for help, do everything all b y themselves and are headed for burnout!!
I’m also offering a Tip of the Week-Asking for Help when going to my website-www.helpisnotafourletterword.com.
One person on my survey said they don’t ask for help so others “won’t see the mess they’ve made”.
Thanks for your wonderful thought provoking list. We’ve got to change that belief that asking is a weakness!!
Peggy Collins

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Rajesh Kannan on August 25th, 2007

It becomes double the effort to get the output from the help you have asked.

Another reason would be the overheads of “managing” the help would have meant to do it all by your self.

-RK

Ronni Bennett on August 25th, 2007

What a terrific list. I’ve been guilty of all of them at different times. And – similar to No. 1 (but not to No. 6): Why would anyone want to help me? They’re probably too busy anyway.

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