When I was at the San Francisco Airport recently, I couldn’t help notice the giant size Tiger Woods ad from Accenture. I didn’t have a problem with the message on the Ad, which read:
“The road to high performance isn’t always paved.”
But based on the recent events in the life of Tiger Woods, it was time to change the Ad to something else.
Of course, this is easier said than done. I have seen these ads in multiple airports and several other Billboards elsewhere. It would cost millions for Accenture to get these replaced.
Enough said on that.
Let us look at another angle. The price that Accenture has to pay for what happened is not because of anything that Accenture did. When Accenture made a deal with Tiger Woods, there was an indirect responsibility placed on Tiger Woods that he would enhance or maintain his personal brand. Without that, the deal does not have the same value that it had when it was originally made.
Now Tiger Woods would not have signed any contract to that effect. Think of it like an unwritten (or even ethical) contract. Nobody asks for it but everyone assumes that one would live by it.
Now, not many people have a celebrity status like Tiger Woods. But everyone has an indirect responsibility towards people and organizations they are (and were) associated with them.
You too have that.
The school you attended, the teachers that taught you, your friends, your close family all of them expect that you lead a good life. You mess up and you not only hurt yourself but everyone that’s associated with you. It is your “responsibility” to not hurt yourself. It is your “indirect responsibility” to not hurt people associated with you.
Please don’t forget the (indirect) responsibility.
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Note 1: Here is a Squidoo lens that links to most of the previous articles in this series: Squidoo: Distinguish Yourself
What is said is important. Equally important is what is not said. If you are not noticing is “what is not said,” you might be missing a LOT more than you think you are.
To illustrate the point, I am going to use a song from one of my favorite movies “Music and Lyrics.” The song is just around 2 minutes.
Follow along with me on this experiment (meaning: don’t cheat)
First step: Listen to the 2-minute song without watching the video. Simply click on play and then close your eyes for 2 minutes. If you are too busy and can’t spare 2 minutes, please proceed to step 2 (not recommended but it works too.)
Second step: Just watch the video along with the song. This time, observe everything. Try to see the story that is being told. Try to notice why something and someone are there.
Third step: Reflect for a few seconds how much more richer the experience was when you started noticing what was left unsaid.
I have provided some of my observations to trigger your thinking. They are no way complete and you may have better interpretations than what is being told here.
Here are my observations:
0:00 The camera pans through the entire room giving you an idea of where this is happening. The setting is that of a large party hall in a hotel room.
0:05 There is a banner to show that it’s a class of ‘87 Reunion. So, we know that it’s the get-together of a tribe.
0:10 You see a bunch of women cheering Hugh Grant. There is absolutely no men around that place. Shows that he is popular among women.
0:30 You see a name badge on one of the women confirming again that they are all part of a tribe.
0:35 You see “1987″ in big fonts in the background reminding you again that it’s a class reunion of ‘87.
0:38 You see so many women wearing a POP! t-shirt – showing how crazy they are on something POP! ( It’s a popular band in the 80s in the movie)
0:50 Shows a bunch of really bored men. They probably wanted this song to end right away. Making it clear again that Hugh’s target audience is women ONLY.
0:52 Shows Hugh’s Manager imitating Hugh’s dance and is totally engaged with what’s happening. Indicates special relationship between the two.
1:05 Half way through the song, two women enter. Drew Barrymore and her sister. From the expression on her sister’s face, you know that she is a huge fan of Hugh Grant.
1:20 Drew Barrymore’s sister can’t wait to get in front of the line and runs. Shows that she is not just one of those fans but someone that adores Hugh
1:24 Drew Barrymore shakes her head in disbelief. Shows that she is really not into all this now ( at leas at that time )
1:51 Drew Barrymore shows from her smile that she does think Hugh and his dance are cute.
2:00 Hugh’s Manager is imitating (or giving a cue to Hugh) Hugh’s dance moves. Shows that he is more than a Manager – he is more like a friend invested in Hugh’s success
2:06 Hugh hurts his back during his dance moves. Gives a clue about his age.
2:32 Hugh’s Manager steps out with a clear concern for Hugh. Shows the level of friendship there again.
Last but not least, I have to say that there is a lot of thought that has gone into making this song. So every little thing that happens has a meaning attached to it.
In a business situation, this may not be the case but the need for noticing what is left unsaid will not go away.
Everyone can hear what is said, only a few will notice and powerfully interpret “what is left unsaid.”
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Note 1: Here is a Squidoo lens that links to most of the previous articles in this series:
Note: Thanksgiving is coming soon but I wanted to share this way before that date. You will see why as you read the post.
Everyone knows that an attitude of gratitude is important to grow. In fact, you might remember your parents telling you to be thankful to people that help you.
Yes, I subscribe to the above views whole-heartedly.
You are where you are today because of MANY people who helped you get here. It is easy to forget the people that helped you. Sometimes you might think most of your success is because you are smart and of course you did some get a little help here and there. In most cases you are wrong. In reality, you are not so smart and you got a LOT of help to get to where you are today.
So, the first step is to recognize the real contribution of people around you and to go ahead and thank them.
There are many ways to thank people. Here are some:
Send them an email
Call them and thank them
Take them out for coffee or lunch
Send them a greeting card
Send them a gift card
Send them a gift
Send them money
Send them flowers
I can go on.. there are a thousands of ways to thank someone. Some are easy and some are difficult. Some cost nothing and some cost a fortune. Some are useless and some are meaningful.
If you spend a few minutes though, you can find some thoughtful AND powerful ways of thanking people.
Think about it.
The best way to thank someone is to help them with their project without adding additional cost to their lives. Do something that will enrich their lives.
People are always working on ONE or more projects both in their personal and professional lives ( for more on this, please read the introductory chapters of “Beyond Code” [foreword by Tom Peters] – Free download here) However powerful they are, they need help. They help others but they need help too. In the world of social media, it is not hard to see “what matters most” to the person that has helped you. You are smart and it is not hard to imagine how you can add value to one of more of this person’s projects in a meaningful way.
I can provide ideas but you can come up with your own. The key is to do something that enriches the life of the person that has enriched you. To make it even better, do something that will not introduce new costs in the life of this person.
Go ahead, thank that someone before the upcoming thanksgiving day and do it powerfully.
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Note 1: Here are links to the other 200 articles in the series
Marketplace is right most of the time. It will set the price for what you bring to the table – based on the supply and demand equations that exist (all the time)
Smart people sometimes hit a roadblock when they don’t get what they truly deserve. What they don’t realize is that in many cases they are the ones to blame for that situation.
Here is a typical scenario:
As you become an expert, it takes you less time to complete a task in your area of expertise. As they grow their expertise in the area, the time takes keeps shrinking.
Now, let us look at the external world. There are broadly two kinds of people there.
1. Those that measure value by output: These people will be delighted to have you on your side. They don’t care how long it takes to complete something. They are focused on the output or outcome. If you take less time, that does not make the work less valuable. In fact, they are willing to pay you a premium as they save a ton of time because they engaged with you.
2. Those that measure value by input: These people think that if something needs to be valuable, you have to put in a lot of effort. If you produce something quickly, you have put in less effort – meaning it MUST be less valuable.
If you are an expert, you will thrive when you are working with the first group of people. Similarly, you will be frustrated if you are working with the second group of people.
So, what do you do?
The quick thing to do is to observe and notice who you are working with. If you bring something valuable but are not valued, you may not know how to demonstrate the value or you may be working with people who value by the input. If you don’t know how to demonstrate the value, the responsibility is on you to educate yourself.
If the people who you are working with don’t want to see the value, you may be tempted to try and educate them. That would be a huge opportunity cost. People rarely change.
The better option for you is to dis-engage when your work is valued less. You will be better off finding people who value your work.
All the best!
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Note 1: Here are links to the other 200 articles in the series
Everyone has ideas and a small percentage of them will execute on their ideas too.
However, not all ideas fly.
No, I am not talking about world-changing or radical ideas. I am thinking about everyday ideas that get stifled and buried. You want them to fly but they don’t take off.
What could be the problem?
Most ideas lack wings.
Ideas need wings to take off.
You can add wings easily but it takes a little bit of thinking and effort to attach the wings to those ideas.
To get you to start thinking, here are a few basic examples:
#1. Too much extra baggage
You write a brilliant idea in your email and send this to your Boss. However, you include a bunch of unrelated things in the same email.
Your Boss loves the idea and wants to share with a few other people. However, he realizes that he or she has to do some work ( remove unrelated stuff) to sanitize it before he or she sends it.
Soon the idea goes to the background and fizzles away.
#2 Not packaged well enough
You can’t judge a book by its cover but without a good cover someone may not pick up the book to read.
You complete a project brilliantly and rather than sending a packaged report on the project, you send a two-line email.
You are not giving enough for someone to spread your idea.
#3 Being too humble
There was a pinch and you came in the last minute on Friday to save the project. You work all over the weekend to fix something that’s almost broken. You break your back to fix everything and get everything set for the Monday meeting.
When asked about how you fixed everything, you mention that “It was a small problem and it was really nothing.”
Not everyone has the time to dig deeper so life goes on.
I can go on with a few dozen examples. Everyday ideas with no wings being fizzled out. Ideas that should have taken off but unfortunately wither away.
Before you take on a world-changing idea to work on, start adding wings to your everyday ideas and let them fly.
Your house key or car key is simply a piece of metal if the ends are flattened out.
Your pen will fail to work if the tip is broken.
You will probably your next email with your “fingertips”
In most cases, edges are what matters.
When it comes to distinguish yourself, edges matter a lot as that’s what people notice.
You can play it safe and be in the center and probably get moved to the sidelines. Someone else will take the risk, go to the edges and finally end up in the center stage.
At the center you follow what is popular. At the edges, you set a new trend.
At the center you follow the rules. At the edges, you create new rules.
At the center lies the common. At the edges, you explore the uncommon
At the center, you are with the known. At the edges, you start getting familiar with the unknown.
At the center, you comply. At the edges, you create.
At the center, you try to conquer. At the edges, you try to contribute.
At the center, you are safe but not going anywhere. At the edges, there is risk but that’s where you see the world of possibilities.
It is a problem if you are “smart” and “lazy” as you can explain away several things to your convenience. One way for coming with “explanations of convenience” is to mis-attribute things.
If you want to distinguish yourself, you can avoid common mis-attributions AND stop playing mind games.
I have chosen a few mis-attributions to jumpstart your thinking. This list is in no way complete and please feel free to add/modify the list. The idea is not to get the list right but to get into the practice of noticing mis-attributions in your daily life and shun it.
So, here is the mis-attribution list:
1. “Hard work due to incompetence” mis-attributed to “Going the extra mile”
2. “Ineffectiveness” mis-attributed to “Wanting to be a nice person”
Only few people will have story that is so grand as the story of Taj Mahal. Or the beauty of the Niagara. Or the size of the Grand Canyon. That won’t prevent us from telling stories everyday. We are telling stories to others and we are telling stories to ourselves. We are even telling stories to ourselves about stories we are telling stories to others. We live in our stories.
The point is – whether you want or not – others are expecting that you will tell them stories. Good stories. Stories that will mean something to them. If those stories ALSO mean something to you, it’s good but that’s really not their concern – they just want to hear good stories. Plain and simple.
This is a good thing because if you know how to tell a good story, you will have a big audience. But remember that if they don’t get to hear stories that are relevant to them, they also switch off. And, they switch off – FAST!
So, what’s the big deal, you might ask.
The deal is that when you have a “good” story, you want to tell this to anyone and everyone that might want to listen that story. If you tell that story in all that excitement, people won’t want to curb your excitement so they might “pretend” to listen to your story with great enthusiasm but in their mind they are probably thinking you are wasting their time.
This is all the more important during tough times as “time” is at a premium for everyone during these times. However tempted you are tell your “cool” story – pause and think – “How is this story relevant to the person that I am trying to tell this?” or better yet – “How can I make this story relevant to this person?” If you don’t have a good answer, skip the story and have a great conversation without that story.
Stories are powerful, but ONLY if you use them wisely.
Stories make it easy to communicate something but if the stories are flawed they can just communicate the wrong thing – and, in a compelling way. In other words, stories can help and if you are not careful, they can hurt.
Think about what happened last week. You heard stories from political leaders, you heard stories from media, you heard stories from your boss, you heard stories from your colleagues and you heard stories from even your family members.
Stories are just that – stories. You can make a difference in your life if you can understand the story behind the story.
I am a big fan of Guy Kawasaki. Take the story of Truemors, one of his startups. There was a mixed response for the startup. Guy used the story of how he built the startup for less than $15K. Guy explained how much he spent on everything in great detail. The presentations were engaging (It was Guy who was presenting – so they had to be). In a way, Guy did what he did best – evangelized his new startup. And, it worked. The company saw a big growth in traffic numbers and was finally sold.
I happened to attend one of the presentations and listened to the Truemors story. There was an important point that was missing (not intentional but Guy must have thought it was too obvious to state) – that was the story behind the story. The background story was the story of the price that Guy had paid via his work over 25 years to build his brand. The truth is that Guy and his brand played a VERY big role in how Truemors fared in the marketplace.
It would require a lot of LUCK for someone else (without a brand like Guy’s brand) to attempt building a company like Truemors for less than $15K.
Subsequently Guy added that part of the story in the updated Truemors story in his book “Reality Check“. Honestly even after Guy mentioned that background story explicitly, there will be people who will skip through that and read only what they want to read – and try to repeat what Guy tried to do. Good luck to them.
My first job was a journalist (between ages thirteen and sixteen) and I wrote stories for a local newspaper. I was told repeatedly that I had to introduce “drama” in my writings. My boss would say that if the stories didn’t have drama the newspaper won’t sell.
Drama plays a big role in most of the stories that you hear – so much so that the story behind the story gets completely buried.
It is your job to uncover it.
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Note 1: For links to the other 199 entries in the “Distinguish yourself” series, please visit my Squidoo lens on the same topic: Squidoo Lens: Distinguish yourself
Note 3: My latest manifesto on ChangeThis was published on August 6, 2008. This is a photographic manifesto featuring 15 of my mini sagas (stories in exactly 50 words). Here is the link:
I have always believed that there are only two kinds of relationships – those that are “long term” and those that are “very long term”. Yes, I am exaggerating a bit but when you approach your relationships and put them into one of those two boxes, your perspective on relationships shift.
In reality though, some relationships have to end in the short-term.
Let us look at one such situation:
Yes, you want to build long-term relationships. But the other person may not want that. If you are building a relationship with someone who thinks “every relationship is there only for his or her advantage” then there is trouble. Unless you want to be “taken advantage of”, maintaining a long-term or very-long-term relationship with this person would be meaningless.
What do you do when this happens?
You can end the relationship kicking and screaming or you can exit gracefully. Most people choose the former approach as they want to “get even” and ensure that the other person “gets the message”.
If you think and stop for a minute you will realize that more often than not, the above logic of “getting even” does not make sense. You have already decided that there is no point in maintaining a long-term relationship with the other person. So, how does it matter whether the other person “gets the message” or not. The time you spend “getting even” is throwing good money over bad money. The other person’s biggest loss has to be you and your relationship in the future. If the other person is reasonably smart, he or she will recognize that. If the other person is not smart enough, trying to teach him that will be even more costly for you anyway. How much time do you want to spend on something that is totally ‘past’ you?
Time is the ultimate scarcity for everyone. You are no exception. When you exit gracefully from a relationship, you just found yourself some “extra” time on your hand. You can decide to use that time however you want. When you decide to keep going back to the past (whatever be the reason) you lost some precious time. Time that you could have used to invest in someone with whom you want to build a long-term relationship.
You are smart – so you make the choice!
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Note 1: For links to the other 198 entries in the “Distinguish yourself” series, please visit my Squidoo lens on the same topic: Squidoo Lens: Distinguish yourself
Note 3: My latest manifesto on ChangeThis was published on August 6, 2008. This is a photographic manifesto featuring 15 of my mini sagas (stories in exactly 50 words). Here is the link:
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