Archive for 'Distinguish yourself'
By Rajesh Setty on Mon 24 Nov 2008, 7:53 AM - 6 Comments
I have always believed that there are only two kinds of relationships – those that are “long term” and those that are “very long term”. Yes, I am exaggerating a bit but when you approach your relationships and put them into one of those two boxes, your perspective on relationships shift.
In reality though, some relationships have to end in the short-term.
Let us look at one such situation:
Yes, you want to build long-term relationships. But the other person may not want that. If you are building a relationship with someone who thinks “every relationship is there only for his or her advantage” then there is trouble. Unless you want to be “taken advantage of”, maintaining a long-term or very-long-term relationship with this person would be meaningless.
What do you do when this happens?
You can end the relationship kicking and screaming or you can exit gracefully. Most people choose the former approach as they want to “get even” and ensure that the other person “gets the message”.
If you think and stop for a minute you will realize that more often than not, the above logic of “getting even” does not make sense. You have already decided that there is no point in maintaining a long-term relationship with the other person. So, how does it matter whether the other person “gets the message” or not. The time you spend “getting even” is throwing good money over bad money. The other person’s biggest loss has to be you and your relationship in the future. If the other person is reasonably smart, he or she will recognize that. If the other person is not smart enough, trying to teach him that will be even more costly for you anyway. How much time do you want to spend on something that is totally ‘past’ you?
Time is the ultimate scarcity for everyone. You are no exception. When you exit gracefully from a relationship, you just found yourself some “extra” time on your hand. You can decide to use that time however you want. When you decide to keep going back to the past (whatever be the reason) you lost some precious time. Time that you could have used to invest in someone with whom you want to build a long-term relationship.
You are smart – so you make the choice!
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Note 1: For links to the other 198 entries in the “Distinguish yourself” series, please visit my Squidoo lens on the same topic:
Squidoo Lens: Distinguish yourself
Note 2: The first 25 entries in the series have been packaged in a ChangeThis manifesto that was published on September 07, 2005. You can download that manifesto here:
ChangeThis Manifesto: 25 Ways to Distinguish Yourself (PDF, Free)
Note 3: My latest manifesto on ChangeThis was published on August 6, 2008. This is a photographic manifesto featuring 15 of my mini sagas (stories in exactly 50 words). Here is the link:
ChangeThis Manifesto: Mini Sagas – Bite Sized Lessons for Life and Business (PDF, Free)
Posted under Distinguish yourself.
By Rajesh Setty on Sun 02 Nov 2008, 1:02 PM - Leave Comment
First everyone is working on one or more big projects – actually at least two of them – one in professional life and one in personal life.
Every big project is typically made up of several sub-projects or we can call them derivatives of the core project.
Depending on the nature and scope of the project, the sub-projects may be delegated to others. When all the sub-projects are completed, the main project is sort of completed.
Sometimes, it may not work according to the plan (should we say most of the time). A sub-project gets into trouble and you start focusing a lot of your time on that “troubled” sub-project. People who are working on the sub-project may not know that this is part of a grand scheme. They may be thinking that the sub-project is the project. So they start suggesting things that will work very well for the sub-project (probably accelerate it) but the final outcome may not be good for the core project.
If you are not careful, the derivative may take over the core and you will win the sub-project and lose at the core project.
The larger the initiative, higher the chances that you might get into this trap. Since there is no point in life if you are not working on at least one large initiative, you might right now be at the risk of getting into this trap.
All the best!
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Note 1: For links to the other 196 entries in the “Distinguish yourself” series, please visit my Squidoo lens on the same topic:
Squidoo Lens: Distinguish yourself
Note 2: The first 25 entries in the series have been packaged in a ChangeThis manifesto that was published on September 07, 2005. You can download that manifesto here:
ChangeThis Manifesto: 25 Ways to Distinguish Yourself (PDF, Free)
Note 3: My latest manifesto on ChangeThis was published on August 6, 2008. This is a photographic manifesto featuring 15 of my mini sagas (stories in exactly 50 words). Here is the link:
ChangeThis Manifesto: Mini Sagas – Bite Sized Lessons for Life and Business (PDF, Free)
Posted under Distinguish yourself.
By Rajesh Setty on Thu 16 Oct 2008, 10:58 PM - 5 Comments
Take a dot. Put some “nothing” in it and..
You get a doughnut!
Take a doughnut. Put some “nothing” in it and…
You get a zero.
Take a zero. Put some more “nothing” in it and…
You get a bowl.
Take a bowl. Put some more “nothing” in it and…
You get an arc.
Take an arc. Put some more “nothing” in it and..
Yes, you get “nothing”!
“Nothing” plays an important role in our life. It is basically a space of possibility. Imagine speaking without a pause. Without that silence. It will be hard to understand what you are saying. You need that “nothing” in between the something that you are saying otherwise that something will be nothing 
In a way, the “nothing” that surrounds the something will amplify the meaning of something. So not only should you not ignore “nothing” but you should become comfortable with it.
When I started my first company, I was totally uncomfortable with “nothing”. When I reached out to a prospect, I expected that “nothing” should come in between my offer of help to their providing a “purchase order”. “Nothing” would drive me crazy. Something had to be happening all the time. Looking back, it seems silly to expect that – but that’s what is experience all about.
Go ahead and enjoy the “something” by appreciating the “nothing” surrounding it. You will not only be more comfortable, you will put people surrounding you at ease.
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Note 1: For links to the other 196 entries in the “Distinguish yourself” series, please visit my Squidoo lens on the same topic:
Squidoo Lens: Distinguish yourself
Note 2: The first 25 entries in the series have been packaged in a ChangeThis manifesto that was published on September 07, 2005. You can download that manifesto here:
ChangeThis Manifesto: 25 Ways to Distinguish Yourself (PDF, Free)
Note 3: My latest manifesto on ChangeThis was published on August 6, 2008. This is a photographic manifesto featuring 15 of my mini sagas (stories in exactly 50 words). Here is the link:
ChangeThis Manifesto: Mini Sagas – Bite Sized Lessons for Life and Business (PDF, Free)
Posted under Distinguish yourself.
By Rajesh Setty on Thu 02 Oct 2008, 1:00 PM - 1 Comment
It requires a lot of maturity to be aware of your circle of awareness. This is one of the areas where “ignorance is definitely NOT bliss”.
What you want is typically within your circle of awareness.
If “what you need” to reach your goals is outside of this circle of awareness, you may not make an attempt to get it because you just don’t know that such a thing exists.
So what do you do to get in sync?
Here are a few quick options:
1. Read more to increase your awareness: This is probably the lowest cost no-brainer option. Expand your library and you expand your awareness.
2. Find a Mentor: A mentor can help you raise your awareness sometimes slowly but sometimes in just one meeting.
3. Use the right tools: How can you find something you need when you can only search with “what you want”? That’s where tools like Rawsugar will come in.
4. Attend Events that stretch your imagination: If you have never been to a museum, go and visit one. If you have never been to an art exhibition go to one. Be curious and go there with an open mind.
The above are ONLY examples of ways of expanding your circle of awareness. Go ahead and stretch your imagination and find ways to stretch the circle of awareness.
All the best!
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Note 1: For links to the other 195 entries in the “Distinguish yourself” series, please visit my Squidoo lens on the same topic:
Squidoo Lens: Distinguish yourself
Note 2: The first 25 entries in the series have been packaged in a ChangeThis manifesto that was published on September 07, 2005. You can download that manifesto here:
ChangeThis Manifesto: 25 Ways to Distinguish Yourself (PDF, Free)
Note 3: My latest manifesto on ChangeThis was published on August 6, 2008. This is a photographic manifesto featuring 15 of my mini sagas (stories in exactly 50 words). Here is the link:
ChangeThis Manifesto: Mini Sagas – Bite Sized Lessons for Life and Business (PDF, Free)
Posted under Distinguish yourself.
By Rajesh Setty on Tue 23 Sep 2008, 4:11 PM - 2 Comments
I am using a personal example here but I have talked on this topic to MANY people and the experience has been the same.
Today I received a mail from an acquaintance. It was a long email about a milestone that their organization achieved. It included a detailed explanation of what the milestone was with quotes from company executives in all colors. Overall what could be said in one sentence was said in more than a page.
Remembering from earlier emails from this contact, I have never received anything in the past that was not a “Me Mail”.
There has been never anything that is of relevance to me.
Unfortunately from now on, I will move this contact to a “Me Mail” list.
I have a few other acquaintances who are in this list. All their emails are detailed descriptions of something that is
a) relevant to them
b) totally irrelevant to me
They are all on the “Me Mail” list.
Now, what do I do with the emails from people on the “Me Mail” list.
The answer is simple – Nothing.
Nothing at all.
I don’t have to bother to read them anymore because I am “almost certain” that there will be nothing of relevance to me in their emails.
Emails are usually read. MeMails are usually discarded.
I have talked to a number of people that I respect and their strategy, while not exactly same is similar on these topics.
Do NOTHING!
I am sure you are not one of the people who are sending MeMails. If you are, then I BEG you to stop sending them.
And, may be, MAY BE start sending YouMails 
Cheers and have a great week ahead!
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Note 1: For links to the other 194 entries in the “Distinguish yourself” series, please visit my Squidoo lens on the same topic:
Squidoo Lens: Distinguish yourself
Note 2: The first 25 entries in the series have been packaged in a ChangeThis manifesto that was published on September 07, 2005. You can download that manifesto here:
ChangeThis Manifesto: 25 Ways to Distinguish Yourself (PDF, Free)
Note 3: My latest manifesto on ChangeThis was published on August 6, 2008. This is a photographic manifesto featuring 15 of my mini sagas (stories in exactly 50 words). Here is the link:
ChangeThis Manifesto: Mini Sagas – Bite Sized Lessons for Life and Business (PDF, Free)
Posted under Distinguish yourself.
By Rajesh Setty on Sat 20 Sep 2008, 4:00 AM - 5 Comments
You aim to become like someone (may be a role model, hero or just someone that you aspire to become) and start copying what they are “doing”. You soon realize that you are not getting the results that they are getting.
Simple reason – you are not them.
You simply cannot recreate everything else that is “unique” to them like
- their history
- their background
- their mindset
- their teachers
- their relationships
- their support structure (family, friends, co-workers, mentors etc.)
- their outlook on life
- their perspective
- their knowledge
I can go on but the list is VERY long.
If you even want to have a chance at this, you have to start copying their “being” rather than focusing on their “doing”.
Being, in simple terms, is who they are. AND, not just what they do.
What they do may be effective because of who they are.
If you are trying to do what they do without being who they are, chances are – you won’t get the results they are getting.
Copying “being” is not easy. But who said that you would get a premium by doing something that’s VERY easy to do
Have a great weekend!
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Note 1: For links to the other 193 entries in the “Distinguish yourself” series, please visit my Squidoo lens on the same topic:
Squidoo Lens: Distinguish yourself
Note 2: The first 25 entries in the series have been packaged in a ChangeThis manifesto that was published on September 07, 2005. You can download that manifesto here:
ChangeThis Manifesto: 25 Ways to Distinguish Yourself (PDF, Free)
Note 3: My latest manifesto on ChangeThis was published on August 6, 2008. This is a photographic manifesto featuring 15 of my mini sagas (stories in exactly 50 words). Here is the link:
ChangeThis Manifesto: Mini Sagas – Bite Sized Lessons for Life and Business (PDF, Free)
Posted under Distinguish yourself.
By Rajesh Setty on Mon 25 Aug 2008, 9:47 PM - Leave Comment
When you are at the beginning of your career, you really work hard and for all that effort the “real value” that you add may not be that significant.
This may not be a problem as people know that you are just “starting.”
As you learn and become better at your job, it takes less effort to “do” your job and you can start creating more value with less effort. In other words you start becoming “efficient.”
Yes, when you start getting comfortable with your job you may get bored and get another job. That’s a possibility. However, in the new job, you are “new” so again it takes a bit of effort to create value demanded by the job.
In an ideal scenario, as your career progresses, the effort required to deliver value should keep dropping or the value delivered for the same effort should keep going up.
However, there is a small catch.
With your experience, the expectation of the value that you will create is also going up. Unless you build enough “power”, you will very soon notice that you have to work “extra hard” to match the expectations of the job. Nobody will be happy if you created the value that is created by a novice when you have are a veteran. It won’t even be called an accomplishment.
The more knowledge you acquire, the more you realize that you need to acquire more knowledge. However, without leverage (higher output for lower input) there is no time for you to acquire the knowledge. So for the benefit of your organization and for your own benefit, you need to watch the effort-value curve.
So the big questions are:
1. Where are you today on this curve?
2. What can you do to move to a better place on this curve?
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Note 1: For links to the other 192 entries in the “Distinguish yourself” series, please visit my Squidoo lens on the same topic:
Squidoo Lens: Distinguish yourself
Note 2: The first 25 entries in the series have been packaged in a ChangeThis manifesto that was published on September 07, 2005. You can download that manifesto here:
ChangeThis Manifesto: 25 Ways to Distinguish Yourself (PDF, Free)
Note 3: My latest manifesto on ChangeThis was published on August 6, 2008. This is a photographic manifesto featuring 15 of my mini sagas (stories in exactly 50 words). Here is the link:
ChangeThis Manifesto: Mini Sagas – Bite Sized Lessons for Life and Business (PDF, Free)
Posted under Distinguish yourself.
By Rajesh Setty on Sat 23 Aug 2008, 7:22 AM - Leave Comment
I mean really really get in their shoes. Well, not literally!
Get In Their Shoes
At a basic level, getting into someone’s shoes is to think “how the other person may be thinking.” If you really want to get into their shoes, you need to find out the “worldview” of the person. What is their outlook and approach to life? Then we come down to the specifics of how they might be thinking about this particular topic in discussion.
I was exposed to this early in my life (sort of accidentally) although I didn’t know the terminology at that time. I was in my tenth year of school and it was a statewide exam and I was competing with 400,000 other students. It was a lot of hard work and I was happy that I was ranked 20th for the state.
While it was delightful, I always felt that there must be a better way to this. You study the whole year and you get graded based on a paper that write in less than three hours. There must be a better way and I thought I need to figure this out before the next public exam two years later.
So it started when I asked one of my teachers what was his approach when he was on of the examiners grading the papers. It was wonderful to get his perspective on “what he thought was important.” I followed up with the “why” question and also got his perspective on “why he thought something was important.”
Obviously there was a gap between “what I thought was important” and “what the examiner thought was important”. This baffled me at first and then my quest continued. I would keep asking every teacher about his or her perspective on what “really matters” when they look at a paper to grade. Remember that they have six minutes to grade a paper and usually students write about 40-50 pages in the three hours. So there is no way anyone can read everything. If “what matters” to the examiner is not there in the paper, chances that the paper gets a better grade are slim.
Now, the ultimate test is to see whether what I did worked. The results show that. I secured 2nd Rank for the state (out of 160,000 students). It was definitely not because I was smarter than 158,998 of them. I think I spent a bit more time trying to “get in the shoes” of the examiner. What really convinced me was that I didn’t work as hard as I had to for my earlier public exam.
I admit that I don’t try my best to apply this lesson in everything I do. But whenever I have put in an effort in this direction, the payback has been pretty good.
Have a wonderful weekend.
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Note 1: For links to the other 191 entries in the “Distinguish yourself” series, please visit my Squidoo lens on the same topic:
Squidoo Lens: Distinguish yourself
Note 2: The first 25 entries in the series have been packaged in a ChangeThis manifesto that was published on September 07, 2005. You can download that manifesto here:
ChangeThis Manifesto: 25 Ways to Distinguish Yourself (PDF, Free)
Note 3: My latest manifesto on ChangeThis was published on August 6, 2008. This is a photographic manifesto featuring 15 of my mini sagas (stories in exactly 50 words). Here is the link:
ChangeThis Manifesto: Mini Sagas – Bite Sized Lessons for Life and Business (PDF, Free)
Posted under Distinguish yourself.
By Rajesh Setty on Thu 14 Aug 2008, 4:00 AM - 6 Comments
Come to think of it, saying “Thank You” just once more in a day in your life costs you almost NOTHING. However, for the recipient of that thank you, it is invaluable.
Imagine when someone genuinely thanks you for something – isn’t that a good feeling? Does it not feel like they handed out a gift to you despite the fact that to give the gift it costs them almost NOTHING?
We all know that long after we are gone, people remember us by how we made them feel and not what we give them.
A genuine “Thank You” is powerful. It can make someone’s day.
We can only watch people’s actions. What goes on their minds and what is going on in their life, we don’t know.
A “Thank You” might just do one or more of the following:
* make their day a little bit better than what it is now
* enhance their self-esteem
* provide them with a boost of energy
* make them feel good about themselves
* feel energized
I can go on with the list but in summary, a genuine “Thank You” can only have a positive effect on the recipient.
Go ahead and give that gift. Just one more time in a day and you will make someone’s day.
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Note 1: For links to the other 190 entries in the “Distinguish yourself” series, please visit my Squidoo lens on the same topic:
Squidoo Lens: Distinguish yourself
Note 2: The first 25 entries in the series have been packaged in a ChangeThis manifesto that was published on September 07, 2005. You can download that manifesto here:
ChangeThis Manifesto: 25 Ways to Distinguish Yourself
Note 3: My latest manifesto on ChangeThis was published on August 6, 2008. Here is the link:
ChangeThis Manifesto: Mini Sagas – Bite Sized Wisdom for Life and Business
Posted under Distinguish yourself, Main Page.
By Rajesh Setty on Tue 12 Aug 2008, 8:56 AM - 7 Comments
My teacher told me that moods are the most under-rated characteristics. I agree.
Typically people set themselves a big hurdle to be in a great mood. They need only one small thing to go wrong to get into a rotten mood.
Recently I was talking to a close friend who told me that he was in a bad mood because one of his employees slipped on something. The fact that this happened sometime during the day and he was discussing this late in the evening, I know for sure that he must have played this song over and over and over in his mind and suffered a bit.
After a few minutes of discussion, of course, he realized that being in a bad mood has ZERO positive effect on anyone. It is basically squandering your precious resources – time and energy. Those that could have been easily deployed on other productive tasks.
I am not saying that all of us should become saints and be immune to any mood swings. Even those that think logically will see that alternative to being in a good mood is always costly.
Fine, something got messed up. Agreed. It’s a bad thing. But how will it really help to get into a rotten mood and punish yourself for that? You are already at a loss because something bad happened. Why do you want to get into a deeper loss by losing your cool?
I know what you must be thinking – “It’s easy to say. But hard to put into practice”. And, I will say – “You bet!”
Have a great Tuesday!
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Note 1: For links to the other 189 entries in the “Distinguish yourself” series, please visit my Squidoo lens on the same topic:
Squidoo Lens: Distinguish yourself
Note 2: The first 25 entries in the series have been packaged in a ChangeThis manifesto that was published on September 07, 2005. You can download that manifesto here:
ChangeThis Manifesto: 25 Ways to Distinguish Yourself
Note 3: My latest manifesto on ChangeThis was published on August 6, 2008. Here is the link:
ChangeThis Manifesto: Mini Sagas – Bite Sized Wisdom for Life and Business
Posted under Distinguish yourself, Main Page.
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